Can Primary Parent Refuse Court Ordered Visits With Other Parent in Texas
You spent a long time in mediation negotiating and getting your custody guild worked out so that both you and your ex were satisfied with it.
Or perchance y'all fought a long custody battle that ended in a trial where the gauge had to decide for the two of you.
In either scenario, at that place is often some point that a child may refuse to meet the other parent.
This is often where either the parent who is not seeing the child or the parent who has the kid shows upward in my role to ask questions:
- What can they do?
- Does the kid accept to be forced to come across the parent?
- What are the legal options or consequences?
- At what age can the kid choose when they desire to visit a parent?
In today'southward weblog, we will discuss these questions in greater detail and some possible solutions.
Related Reading:
- Texas Kid Visitation Enforcement
- The Dingy Trick of the Unenforceable Visitation Order
- Does My 18-Yr-Quondam Still Have to Go with Their Other Parent on the Weekend?
The Texas Family Code
The way a Texas Family Police judge views visitation orders is that although a kid may not desire to visit the other parent, visitation is non optional for the child. The judge ordered the visitation, expecting their orders to be followed.
If you are the custodial parent or managing conservator, you are held responsible for complying with the visitation order. The guess volition not let you off the hook considering your child does not want to follow the orders.
Passive Contempt—What if My Child Refuses to Go?
I accept previously discussed passive contempt in another blog article, simply in summary, a parent will claim to have fulfilled their obligation by:
- Having the child set up to go
- The child walks out on the porch
- Then, the child refuses to go with the parent attempting to exercise their possession.
This state of affairs comes up ofttimes, and appellate courts have taken differing views on whether the parent with primary possession can be held in contempt when the kid refuses to go.
Ex Parte Morgan, 886 South.W.2d 829 (Tex.App.-Amarillo 1994, Orig. proceeding)
The Amarillo court indicates that in that location is no such thing as passive contempt. If a parent has the children ready and refuses to go, the custodial parent could not be held in antipathy.
Ex Parte Rosser, 899 S.W.second 382 (Tex.App.-Houston [14th Dist.] 1995, Orig. proceeding)
However, the Houston court of appeals came downward on the result differently. In "Ex Parte Rosser," the custodial parent had an obligation to:
- Effectively drag the kid to the visiting parent's machine, kicking and screaming, or
- Go directly to jail unless that parent can affirmatively show "an involuntary ability to compel the visitation."
What Can You Exercise if Your Child Will Not Visit the Other Parent?
If a kid refuses to visit the other parent, this tin be problematic for both parents. This refusal disrupts the visitation order that both parents have adjusted and worked their lives around.
Possessory Conservator's Betoken of View
Understandably, the noncustodial parent or possessory conservator may be hurt or upset. They may suspect the other parent of manipulating their child or purposely causing parental alienation.
Managing Conservator's Signal of View
The managing conservator may besides have suspicions of what is going on in the other firm that is causing their child distress so that they do not want to run into their other parent?
Think That Yous're the Developed
Practise yous allow your child skip school whenever they want? Are they allowed to stay upwardly all night playing games on their phone? Can they swallow junk nutrient and drinkable soda whenever they like? Does your child only do their homework when they want to?
Of grade not, considering as a parent, you sometimes take to make your children practise things that they don't necessarily want to do. This is how children learn responsibility and that what they desire tin't always come first.
Divorced parents often feel guilty, making them fall into the trap of giving in too speedily to their children. While it's important to listen to children and their opinions, yous need to retrieve your child is not in charge. Y'all are. Your child needs to know that both parents are an essential role of their life. They don't go to choose when and if visitation happens.
Tell your kid that part of having divorced parents is spending time with each one of them. This means that it's unfair to your ex or kid—although they may not see it that way—if you don't brand them become along with the visitation club.
The Buck Stops Here—Your Behavior
Is your behavior making your child feel like they have to choose sides? If your child refuses to become to the other parent, this may signify that the child is reacting to something you are doing.
They may be trying to avoid upsetting you lot or beingness made to feel guilty for spending time with their other parent.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Some questions you demand to ask yourself include:
- Are you lot bad-mouthing the other parent or allowing other people to do so in front of your children or where they tin can hear you?
- Practise you become upset when your children get ready to get for their visitation?
- Do you lot interrogate your children virtually your ex after they get domicile from their visitation?
- Exercise y'all exercise things to brand them feel guilty for seeing the other parent?
- Practise you badmouth your child's step-siblings or stride-parent?
These types of behaviors can place your child in an incredibly awkward position, and it is incorrect for you to put them at that place. You may also be harming your child by:
- Maxim nasty things nearly your ex or
- Using your child as a messenger to your ex
You may yet have strong emotions regarding your ex, merely this person is your kid's other parent, and you do not want to forget your kid is partly you and partly your ex.
If they hear you speaking poorly about their other parent, they may wonder how you feel virtually them too.
You may need to vent well-nigh your ex, but you practise not need to do information technology before your child. You have a lot of other options for venting:
- With a friend
- A divorce support group
- A counselor
Let your child exist a child; you do not need to trouble them with any acrimony or resentment you have.
Some questions to enquire yourself to make sure you are interim in the best interests of your child include:
- Am I encouraging my children to visit their other parents?
- Do I let my children know I am fine when they are away, even if I miss them?
- Practice I help my children pack for their visitation?
- Do I interrogate the children when they come back from visitation?
- Am I communicating with the other parent directly, or am I using my kid to laissez passer along the information?
Why Does Your Child Not Want to Run across Their Other Parent?
An excellent place to brainstorm is to speak with your child and find out why they no longer wish to visit their other parent.
Safety and Welfare of Your Kid
If there is a safety issue, you will desire to speak with a family law attorney nigh modifying your current child custody order.
Issues Other than Safety and Welfare
It is not uncommon for a kid to become irritated or unhappy with a parent in general. This can exist unpleasant but is non unusual, and generally, everyone involved gets over it.
If this happens and your kid complains about seeing your ex, encourage your child to hash out their complaints with their parent. This is a problem betwixt your child and the other parent. It will be healthier for anybody involved if they can piece of work out any problems together.
Some ways they tin work on resolving their issues include:
- Phone
- Handwritten letter
It is best to approach the trouble without assuming either the other parent or the kid is at fault. Try and remain neutral and work with your kid and the other parent to resolve the matter.
Permit your child know that both parents honey them, and that is why both yous and the other parent want to spend time with them.
What to Do When Your Child Does Not Want to Spend Time with You
Rejection hurts no matter how old you lot are. An excellent identify to begin if you are the parent the child does non want to spend fourth dimension with is a self-assessment of your actions.
Talk to Your Child
Discuss with your child why they do non desire to see yous and consider how yous are acting when your child is with you.
Questions to Ask Yourself if You are the Parent the Child Doesn't Desire to See
Some questions y'all need to ask yourself include:
- Do you abolish or testify up late to visit your kid?
- Do yous insist that your new meaning other has to be included in all the time you spend with your child? (Practise y'all ever have just one-on-one time?)
- Do you plan for when your child visits you?
- Practise you interrogate your kid about your ex when they are with you lot or over the phone?
- Practise you call up your child'south altogether or special occasions?
- Do yous ignore your child when they are with you?
- Do you allow your child to talk with the other parent when they are with you?
- Exercise you show upwards or become involved in your child'southward sports, plays, etc.
Younger Children vs. Teens
More than likely, y'all are aware that younger children and teenagers are different.
Your teenager volition handle circumstances in a unlike way than when they were younger. This is often done past expressing their acrimony or showing resentment in ways that are new or different than what you lot are accustomed to.
When Can My Child Decide for Themselves Not to See a Parent?
1 of the most common child custody myths in Texas is that once children accomplish a certain age, they have the legal right not to see a parent.
I am always fascinated to see what age the parents think when they come across me. The most mutual historic period I hear is twelve. However, I have listened to x, xv, and 17.
This thought that a kid can choose is misinformation. I like to tell the parent I am meeting with, "there is a magic age when your child tin can cull, and that age is 18."
This commonly gets a chuckle. In near states, including Texas, children under 18 cannot legally make up one's mind whether or not to run across their parents.
I tell the parent I am meeting with the only people who become to brand decisions regarding the child'due south visitation is the parents together or a Gauge.
If a parent wants to change up the visitation from the custody social club and the other parent is non in agreement, the only mode to practise then volition exist to file for a modification and nowadays the instance to the judge.
Modifying custody orders is not unusual as children get older. A custody order that worked for your three-twelvemonth-former probably volition not work for your fifteen-year-quondam.
Child's Preference
Most probable, the origin of your kid being able to make up one's mind comes from Texas Family unit Code 153.009. This statute allows the court to conduct precisely what the section heading says, "interview of a kid in chambers."
The statute explains the purpose of the interview as being "to make up one's mind the child's wishes." Nevertheless, the judge retains discretion in:
- How the child is interviewed and
- What is in the best interests of the child
In other words, the judge can consider the kid's preference just similar whatsoever other piece of testify and tin ultimately practice something completely dissimilar from what the child wants.
The Law Cannot Change the Heart.
Martin Luther King, Jr. is quoted as saying, "…the law cannot change the heart." It is easy for a estimate to say that your children visit their parents. Information technology is another thing to try and force your 16-year-sometime who refuses to see their parent.
You lot can try and punish them by:
- Grounding them
- Taking away their cell phone or
- Some other brake
These punishments will not repair the relationship and will only increase resentment. At a sure age, nearly parents are no longer cool, and the children would rather hang out with their friends.
The idea of spending the weekend with a parent instead of their friends tin seem incredibly wearisome to a child, particularly if nothing is planned when they get there.
Some ideas that can help include:
Flexibility
A adept arroyo is to exist flexible when possible. An instance of this could include letting your child attend the sleepover with her friend, even if information technology's on your weekend.
Possibly you can swap a weekend with the other parent.
Alternatively, maybe you have your child come over and spend some time with you, and and then you can accept them to their friends subsequently.
Be Patient
Try and detect things the ii of you tin do and enjoy together. Possibly your teenager volition not want to exercise anything except talk or text on the phone with friends. For a reason, perhaps yous let them do and so for a few hours.
Work on keeping lines of communication open. You may feel hurt; rejection is painful. Allow your teenager know you dear them and be patient.
Your teenager may act indifferent, but they find what you practice.
Think of Ways to Brand Going Back and Forth Between Homes Easier
Going dorsum and forth between parents' homes tin can be difficult on your child. Effort and think of means to make information technology easier for your child.
Managing Conservators
Practise not think your job is over as the managing conservator simply by handing your child to the other parent. It is essential for your kid that you lot endeavour and co-parent.
Ane mode this can be done is by encouraging a good relationship with the other parent.
If your child is showing an unwillingness to get with the other parent, you need to encourage your child to visit with the other parent.
Some ways you tin help in this regard include:
- You lot can show your child that you back up this through body linguistic communication, tone of vox, and words.
- Let your child know that they will accept a good fourth dimension with their other parent.
- Assist your kid pack for their fourth dimension with the other parent.
- Reassure them y'all will exist okay while they are gone fifty-fifty though y'all volition miss them.
- Try and talk a piffling bit with the other parent.
- Exercise not interrogate your children when they come dorsum from a visit but let them know information technology'southward okay to share if they want.
If you lot practise these things consistently, your behavior will have a positive outcome on your children.
Possessory Conservators
If you are the parent with issues with their child non wanting to visit with them, you lot are probably experiencing all sorts of emotions.
Nonetheless, rather than react, you lot need to offset:
- Figure out why.
- What is going on?
- Brand certain your kid is comfortable in your domicile.
Some things to think about include:
- Do they have their room?
- Do they take their things?
If this is not possible because of finances, so y'all tin can at least brand sure your kid has:
- A cupboard
- Wardrobe or dresser for their things
- Snacks or foods that they similar when at your home
- Their artwork or pictures displayed
If you take children from a new relationship that live with you, make sure they know it is non okay to borrow or have from this room or cupboard without permission or the child nowadays.
Make sure you pay attention to their important dates such as:
- Birthday
- School events
- Activities
Know what is going on in their life by:
- Get on email or text lists at school
- Become on email or text lists for their activities
- Spend one-on-in one case with them
Think of things you lot tin practice with your kid other than sit around the dwelling and spotter telly. Some active things yous tin can do can include:
- Bike riding
- Go to a park
- Cook a meal
- Go to the library
Communication and Compromise
An essential part of being able to co-parent is communication. Another gene is being open to compromise. If you lot arroyo a situation thinking you accept to win all the fourth dimension, information technology will send a wrong message to the other parent.
As a parent who has gone through a broken relationship, you are probably enlightened that advice can brand or break a relationship.
Let the other parent know as soon as visitation issues come upwards. You may non desire to speak with the other parent, but that is precisely what yous demand to do.
Avert sending any negative signals to the other parent or your child. Speak with your kid and the other parent about why they are reluctant to visit.
Be willing to explore reasonable deviations from the parenting schedule. Endeavour and piece of work with both your child and another parent.
You tin:
- Invite your child to grab dinner
- Come up over afterward school
- See them at events or activities they are in
If the parenting plan needs to be modified, see if yous can talk with other parents and get them involved. If you can avoid an adversarial situation, this will assistance prevent injure and resentment.
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Other Articles you lot may exist interested in:
- Tin a child choose who they want to live inside Texas?
- When Can a Small-scale Child Weigh in on Custody Decisions in Texas?
- Does my xviii-year-sometime kid still accept to become with their other parent on the weekend for courtroom-ordered visitation in Texas?
- What can happen when you ask the Judge to talk to your teenager during a divorce
- fifteen Myths About Divorce in Texas
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- How Much Will My Texas Divorce Cost?
Law Function of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Police Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it'south essential to speak with one of our Houston, TX, Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston, TX, are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact the Police Part of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact data in our online grade. The Law Role of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, Houston, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery Canton, Freedom County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend Canton, and Waller County.
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